At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize