She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
