As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
