You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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