No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize