Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
