So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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