Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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