I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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