plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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