We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
