I need to stop coming to work sober
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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