Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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