why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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