Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize