I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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