Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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