i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
