My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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