1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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