Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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