I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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