ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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