I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
