Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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