Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
