Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
