Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
