Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
