we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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