Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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