I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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