weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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