You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
