my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
