people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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