i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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