This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
