My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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