Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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