they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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