I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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