I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
