walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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