Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She announced her abortion via fbk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
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For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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