I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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