I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
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We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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