the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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