Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
