I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
