He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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