I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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