y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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