ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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