How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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