I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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