tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
